Ok a few posts back Mary did a top 12 list of reasons Jacoby needs to stay in Boston. She noted that Massachusetts has the ever amazing Mohawk Trail while Minnesota does not. In my commen t to that post I mentioned "a legit 100 foot Native American" well being the loser that I am over break I've been kind of bored and decided to find photographic evidence of this statue.
ok so you can't see the whole thing but seriously I'm short but I'm not that short my friend and I were only up to his knees!
The Mohawk Trail has some other cool stuff too.
Like my bff the bear 
Giant teepees/wigwams
Super-pretty crater things where i wanna have a picnic
Pretty Rocks lol
plus a bunch of super cool other stuff that I don't have pictrues of. So yea basically Massachusetts is waaaaaaaay cooler than Minnesota and Jacoby has to stay.
oo and the other girl in the pictures is my other friend Mary not the one that writes here but she is equally awesome.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
This is why I love my family.
So, I was in Connecticut all day. My Great-Uncle Harold had recently died and my parents and I went down to CT for the family-gathering (the funeral is tomorrow, but we can't make it).
ANYWAY... I was sitting on my second-cousin Steve's couch, talking to his brother (my second-cousin Ron), and we started talking about the Red Sox. Ron was telling me that his daughter, when she was little, was really into the Red Sox, and she went to a game with him and his wife. She was absolutely in Red Sox heaven... until the end of the first inning. She was saying "Ok, can we go home now?" and Ron went "Umm... that's only the end of the first inning. There's eight more left."
Aparently, she grew out of the baseball thing pretty soon after. I mean, she was really little. But up to that time, Ron was so happy that he had a daughter who was so into the Red Sox.
Then, this year, he said she got into them again.
The reason?
"I think that we owe it all to Jacoby. Really, that appeared to be one of the major factors in her watching the game. Now she loves them again."
I don't know which makes me happy more: Jacoby turning one of my female relatives into a Sox fan... or my female relative getting back into the Sox because of Jacoby.
Hell, I blame Dustin for my Sox-dom. Oh, and Katie.
Also...
My Great-Aunt was telling me that any time that we feel like coming down to Florida for a visit, that we could stay with her.
Now, by the way, she lives about ten minutes from where the Red Sox have their Spring Training.
I mentioned somewhere around the 14th of February, and she said "Yeah... that seems fine to me..."
This, my friends, could be an amazing spring.
Jetman!
For those of you who don't know what Jetman is... it's a highly addicting game on facebook. The Wikipedia article on it is here.
ANYWAY, as Katie was mindlessly playing it last night, and probably beating my high score, she got to thinking...
Katie: cant you just picture pedroia sitting for like hours playing jetman and he keeps like challenging jacoby and clay and beckett
Mary:AWWWWWWWWWW
Katie: but beckett sucks so he always write like in the challenges and hes like THIS GAME FUCKING BLOWS DICK
Mary: LMFAO
Katie: and like JETMAN IS A BITCH
-Johnny Cash distraction-
Katie: and you know becketts sitting listening to johnny cash while hes playing
Mary: HAHAHAHAHA
Katie: and he keeps losing cause he starts air guitaring
Mary: HAHAHA and thinking he sees a deer over the monitor. i bet pap plays too with jet brew
Katie: hes like i wish they had jethunter
Mary: LMFAO
Katie: and clays like they should have jetfrog
Mary: awwwwwwwwww
Katie: but since they dont have jethunter beckett uses jetcow and pedroia is like they should have jetchipmunk but he uses jetbanana instead and jacoby just uses the regular one cause hes a loserrr.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Top 12 Reasons to Keep Jacoby in Boston.
Not only are Katie and I making amazing Red Sox lists today, but we are also listening to "Shipping Up to Boston", "Tessie" and "Sweet Caroline" on repeat.
This is why I hate the offseason, among other things.
I swear to god, that comment will spawn a list at some point....
But for now, follow the link to our Top 12 Reasons why Jacoby Needs to Stay With Boston...
1. Dustin would be too broken up about losing his best buddy that he wouldnt be able to play.
2. Minnesota is NOT for lovers.
3. He's become quite fond of the beach.*
4. New England has closer weather to Jacoby's home land than Minnesota, so we remind him of home.
5. Minnesota is no fun.**
6. Jacoby looks better in red.***
7. We have Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Harvard, and The Partiots.
8. We have more Taco Bells than Minnesota
9. We have some pretty damn cool Native American things that he can relate to. Minnesota does not. (IE: the mohawk trail)
10. Boston is SOO much easier to type than Minnesota****
11. We have better theme songs.
12. This would not be nearly as amusing without Jacoby.
*I only assume that he has become fond of the beach. Who wouldn't? They're pretty, and I bet he loves walking around in a bathing suit, showing off. You can't do that in Minnesota.
**Again, I only assume
*** When I was writing this, I asked Katie what Minnesota's colors were. Her reply:
Katie(2:24:16 PM): like dark blue and a lil bit of red
Katie(2:24:21 PM): and like gray and white
Katie(2:24:24 PM): they're a fucking mess
So basically reason number 6 and a half: At least we know what colors we are.
**** You have NO IDEA how many times I had to type "Minnesota" to get it right. We poor sox fans would get hand cramps trying to write it!
10 Things to do on a Snow Day
AKA 10 Things to do while Putting off my english homework for one more day.
10.Think of 10 reasons the Twins would be better off not trading Johan Santana for Jacoby Ellsbury or Clay Buchholz.
9.Wake up at 7 and wonder why on a regular school day you don't want to wake up but today you just can't sleep.
8.Read a book about Southie.
7.Check Boston.com every 10 minutes to make sure you didn't miss anything.
6.Watch Faith Rewarded...twice.
5.Listen to Christmas music and try to figure out what the hell you're going to buy your best friend for Christmas.
4.Not put your clothes away like your mother asked you.
3."Forget" about your homework...again.
2.Wonder why it's 20 degrees outside and 90 degrees in your room.
1.Write a list.
photo c/o Kelly O'Connor at sittingstill.net
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Can I has prospects? K thx
Can't this Hot Stove stuff just be over?!?! I am completely attached to our prospects, mostly Ellsbury but I love the others too. I mean I went to Futures at Fenway this year and took like 20 pictures of Justin Masterson on my friends camera. And like Mary already said I don't want Lester traded I'd miss him too much. =(
This just saddens me. Ellsbury is young, wicked awesome, and SUPER fast. Plus he says the word "neat". Also, of course in the minds of Mary and I Jacoby and Pedroia are BEST BUDDIES! they're like the dynamic duo and with Buchholz with them they're just adorable. YOU CAN'T BREAK THAT UP!
In conclusion
Dear Red Sox,
Please don't do that to me.
Love always,
Katie<3
photo c/o Boston.com
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Can i has lolz? plz?
k thx.
(follow teh linkage...)
Bask in teh glory that iz tonz of lols i has made.
Katie has made sum 2, but i 4get which ones is hers.
(Ok, it pains me to type like that, it truly does =P)
[All photos were from various places, including Katie's computer]
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Finders Keepers!!!
from CNN
From boston.redsox.mlb.com
From redsoxhens.mlbblogs.com
Can we has Jon Lester forever? K thx.
But for rizzles. According to extra bases , Lester appears to be a keen candidate for trade for Minnesota Twins' Johan Santana.
Don't do it. We wuv him too much. Although, EB also says that he's more likely to be chosen over Buchholz. 
from thenosebleeds.com
from Boston.com
I swear to Got in Himmel, if I wake up one morning to find my l'il Clay NOT in a Red Sox jersey.... THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.
Want to know what else will happen if our wonder twins get offed? Follow us down the rabbit hole for further enlightenment.....
John Wayne and Johnny Cash will come back from the dead and haunt whoever makes the final decisions with sad songs and tales of the wild west, occasionally throwing in misadventures of Beckett for a modern-cowboy feel.
We will cry.
Katie will eat your soul.
I will personally come to your house with a baseball bat and make threatenning gestures.
Did I mention John Wayne and Johnny Cash will come back from the dead?
Monday, November 26, 2007
How I Became a Red Sox Fan
Sooooooooooo I was talking to Mary earlier and I was showing her this IM convo i had last June about how I became a Red Sox fanand she told me i should post it so here I am posting lol it's written the way that I typed it in my IM so bear with me
Katie: wanna hear a sad story
friend: sure
once there was this lil girl
she didn't really know anything about baseball
but when she turned 8 her parents decided it would be good for her to play softball
so she got A LITTLE bit more interested in baseball
then she discovered Nomar and Pedro
and after that she discovered the Yankees
and Roger Clemens (version NY) and Derek Jeter
and well R&D always seemed to beat N&P
so she said well I like the Yankees cause they always win
but Nomar's my favorite cause he's cool
so this girl got a little older and when she was about 12 she kinda started paying attention more and like hey this is a kinda cool sport
then when she was 13 in 2003 she saw the ALCS and discovered Ruben Sierra (Yankee) now this girl had a friend named Siearra so she decided that if they were related it would be Siearra Sierra
and then the Yankees won
but it wasn't like nice for the little girl
she didn't feel good about that team
but whatever it's over now they lost to the Marlins in the 03 WS anyways sooooo she did all the normal winter stuff
sledding and whatnot
then in like April of 2004 this girl was at her aunts house chillen with her cousin and the red sox game was on
then this guy named Pokey Reese got up to bat
the girl and her cousin started cracking up
but then it all came back to the little girl, all the random players she'd heard of but ignored and this new guy with the wicked cool name
plus the memory of Cowboy Up! what that meant she never really knew but the girl just GOT it now
and so this girl said...
fuck the Yankees I like the red sox
and POKEYY
so she got a red sox hat and the girl was never ever ever the same
she did cartwheels n her driveway when they beat the Yankees in 04 and then screamed and jumped like a psycho when they won the world series
and she was hooked
forever
then 05 came and thing weren't that great but favorites left(Pokey, Dave Roberts, Orlando Cabrera, a bunch of other peeps) and new favorite emerged out of nowhere one in particular who was introduced by these people in the girls speech class this player?
Gabriel Stefan Kapler
he had left the sox but ended up coming back
of course there was also Billy Mueller the quite guy who everyone just loved
and Kevin Millar the loud mouth cowboy who was always acting like an idiot
oh speaking of idiots did I forget that guy that looked like Jesus but we won't talk about that
yea those were the days
anyways then in June Manny Ramirez decided he wanted to get traded AGAIN but he's crazy so everyone just pretended to try and trade him
not to mention the HUGE Dominican guy who make pitchers cry (David Ortiz) decided to get even better than he was
and then in the end of July along with the return of dear Gabriel came a new face (new to me at least)
a young guy who got drafted out of college in 03
he did great no one really noticed though cause Curt, Curt, my ankle hurts was making his return as well
aaaanyways 05 didn’t end up working well
and the 05-06 winter was very long
and kinda sadd
dear Theo Epstein quit and we lost the Jesus dude (Johnny Damon) to the enemy and everyone got a lil pissed
but it's ok cause they found a replacement The Chocolaty one
Coco Crisp(ies) and with a whole new infield 2006 came
06 started out as an angry year for the now 15 year old girl
with thoughts of betrayal by Mr. Damon
but the new guys made it better
so with a bunch of crazy fist pumps the guys started spring training
Josh Beckett a new pitcher came in looking like he was always ready to kick ass a long with his new bff Curt "my ankle doesn’t hurt anymore" Schilling
and the new guy from last July?
he's closing now
has an earned run average less than one and has 20 saves already
his name? Jonathan Papelbon
but this year is not all fun and games
there have been thoughts of ripping off faces and beating the crap out of people but we shall be ok
because the return of a great man is upon us
Gabe Kapler WILL BE BACK
muwahahahahaaha(ha)
the girl you've heard so much about?
her name is
Katie
hahaha
Well I guess everyone has to start somewhere right?
and if you thought I was sane at all you've probably seen the light
So say what you will but I love this team a lot and that's that.
You'll bat your eye out!
Ah yes, here's another episode of amazement in the minds of Kaite any myself.
Last night, A Christmas Story was on TBS. Yes, that's right. THE Christmas Story that gets put on perpetual repeat on Christmas. THE Christmas story that everyone watches so much at Christmas that no one can even mention it for another year without treading on the possibility of Christmas-induced spazms.
ANYWAY, we were watching this, and I suddenly came to the realization that little Ralphie happened to look like little Dustin:
Well, once we came to this realization, we started thinking, what if the other characters were played by the Sox? Here's the "official" list:
Mrs. Parker - Varitek
Mr. Parker - Timlin
Ralphie - Pedroia
Randy - Buchholz
Flick - Ellsbury
Schwartz - Papelbon
Miss Shields - Youlkilis
Farkus - Schilling
Dill - Beckett
Santa - A Rod
The Elves - Jeter and Damon
The movie is SO MUCH funnier if you watch it with these substitutions in mind. I swear, this Christmas I'm going to be cracking up more than usual at this movie.
To give y'all a general idea as to what was going through our heads, I have included some key scenes with the proper name-changes. I guarantee, you'll never watch this movie the same way again =D
Pedroia: Oooh fuuudge!
Pedroia as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
Timlin: [stunned] *What* did you say?
Pedroia: Uh, um...
Timlin: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
[Timlin reads a side of the box with the prize that he won]
Timlin: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Varitek: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Timlin: Oh, yeah.
[overdressed for winter]
Buchholz: I can't put my arms down!
Tek: Well... put your arms down when you get to school.
Ellsbury: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!
Papelbon: That's 'cause you know it'll stick!
Ellsbury: You're full of it!
Papelbon: Oh yeah?
Ellsbury: Yeah!
Papelbon: Well I double-DOG-dare ya!
Pedroia as Adult: [narrating] NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare ya"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.
Papelbon: I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!
Pedroia as Adult: [narrating] Pap created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!
Papelbon: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.
Ellsbury: Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything like that?
Papelbon: He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy's tongue off the track, because he couldn't get it off. (Buchholz is trying to catch up).
Buchholz: C'mon, guys! Wait up! C'mon, guys! Wait up!
Varitek: Buchholz? What's wrong? Whatcha cryin' for?
Buchholz: Timlin's gonna kill Dustin!
Varitek: No he's not...
Buchholz: Yes he is!
Varitek: No, I promise, Timlin is not going to kill Dustin!
Pedroia: Tek, this is just the same dumb old parade as last year.
Varitek: Dustin, will you please calm down?
Pedroia: Tek!
Varitek: Hush!
Timlin: SHUT UP, Dustin!
Yeah, there's so much more, but the internet is stupid and doesn't seem to deem this movie worthy enough of a free e-script. Oh well. So, feel free to use this as a reference the next time you watch this movie! I know I will. *wink*
Thursday, November 22, 2007
If you can dodge a wrench....
Ahh, Thanksgiving. After stufing my face with turkey, stuffing, and other delicious things, I love to sit down with a good movie on TV. This year, it just happens to be Dodgeball.
Katie and I have decided that Patches O'Houlihan, you know, the crazy guy in the wheelchair, is going to be Beckett this winter with Buchholz and Lester.
"If you can pitch a wrench, you can pitch a ball."
Katie: "is it necessary to eat nails?"
Mary: "No. But I do it anyway because it's badass and I like the taste."
Katie: You know that Beckett has a pitcher poster that says "i suck" on it. and it's like Kenny Lofton. He has an A Rod one too.
And Buchholz is totally that poor kid that keeps getting KILLED by the ball.
I feel so bad for these guys, but I WANT to see this get turned into a reality TV show. Now.
ARE YOU LISTENING ESPN? THIS IS TELEVISION GOLD.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
All your Lowell are belong to us.
Mike Lowell is still with the Sox!
It was announced yesterday that the Sox re-signed our beloved 3rd baseman.
The Red Sox will have the best eyebrows in baseball for another 3 years =)
I love his eyebrows almost more than Martin Scorsese =D
For a real news story thinger, go here
IN OTHER NEWS:
Neil Diamond's favourite baseball team is the Red Sox =) No lie. Kinda funny with the whole 'Sweet Caroline' bit
END OF POST =)
Type rest of the post here
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Dustin Pedroia has nose problems.
Anyone who watches him at bat has seen then infamous open-mouth-nose-adjustment thing.
But why?
And what about this video?
I have a few theories.
1. He has serious sinus issues. Like, he has perpetual conjestion or something.
2. He takes coke.
3. He has scratch-and-sniff wallpaper and his nose is shot to hell from sniffing it so much.
I swear, he rubs his nose as much as Ellsbury says umm/uhh/you know.
QVC?!
I somehow managed to miss Papelbon on QVC the other night.
And Manny just finished his bit on Jay Leno.
Now I'm waiting for Papi on Conan.
This brings me, though, to a very important issue: the Sox on talk shows.
It's great to see them getting publicity. However, there's so many things that can go wrong with this.
1. Beckett. I don't think I need to say much more. If he went on a live show, he would need at least a 7 second delay. And he would probably offend someone. Multiple times. And he wouldnt care.
2. Pedroia on Conan. I want to see this. the 5'6 ish 2nd baseman being interviewed by the 6'4 talk show host. Someone book this. Now. PLEASE.
3. Papelbon doing anything. Look at what has already happened. He talked incessantly about partying, swore, and revealed Papi's secret life as a Bedazzler. And he sat with his legs about 90 °rees; apart from each other. This man needs serious help.
4. Jacoby. This kid obviously never took speech class. There's so many "ummms" and "uhhs" in there that I can't help but love him even more. He could go on any show and just be soooo uncomfortable. Poor Jacoby. He needs a hug.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Prequel to the Epic Cupcake Story
Adventures in the life of the Red Sox, Episode One.
Written in AIM by Katie and myself.
Jacoby gets some lady problems, Pedroia gets a stripper, and Pap gets drunk.
Katie (10:09:05 PM): could you imagine jacoby breaking up with some one
Mary (10:09:06 PM): awwwwww
Katie (10:09:18 PM): can i uhhh
Katie (10:09:20 PM): ummm
Katie (10:09:29 PM): have my uhh sweatshirt uhhh back'
Katie (10:09:31 PM): ya know
Katie (10:09:44 PM): and shed clearly be a skank
Mary (10:09:46 PM): mmhmm
Katie (10:10:19 PM): and hed be really sad
Katie (10:10:24 PM): and everyone would be all awwww
Katie (10:10:28 PM): poor jacoby
Mary (10:11:50 PM): and pedroia would bake him a cake
Mary (10:11:52 PM): and make him dinner
Mary (10:12:01 PM): then tuck him into bed at night
Mary (10:12:07 PM): underneath teh new bedspread that his mom told him to buy
Katie (10:12:10 PM): and be like nah man shes a ho
Katie (10:12:14 PM): bitches aint shit man
Katie (10:12:35 PM): and Jacoby would be like but i really liked her
Mary (10:12:50 PM): :;sniffle::
Mary (10:12:59 PM): and pedroia would be sitting on the edge of hte bed
Mary (10:13:02 PM): rubbing his back
Katie (10:13:26 PM): and beckett would come in and be like come on just get some new ladiess
Katie (10:13:32 PM): and they'd all laugh
Mary (10:14:08 PM): because they know that beckett meant strippers
Katie (10:14:25 PM): and then Beckett would be like
Katie (10:14:35 PM): come on we're goin out tonight baaaayyybeeee
Mary (10:14:51 PM): and pedroia looks around nervously for the wife
Mary (10:14:59 PM): and seeing she's not there, he goes OK
Katie (10:15:12 PM): and ellsbury just smiles a little
Katie (10:15:18 PM): even though hes still sad
Mary (10:15:39 PM): and when they get to the strippers, there's Pap, up there, dancing with the strippers
Katie (10:15:57 PM): and they all just die laughing
Katie (10:20:08 PM): and then jacoby almost sleeps with a stripper but he doesnt cause hes a good boy
Mary (10:20:21 PM): mmhmm
Mary (10:20:23 PM): he's like
Mary (10:20:36 PM): "i dont want to catch any diseases...."
Katie (10:21:03 PM): and becketts like jesus christ where are all the college chicks
Mary (10:21:17 PM): and he says
Mary (10:21:18 PM): oh right
Mary (10:21:21 PM): the're with Pap
Katie (10:21:49 PM): then hes like lets go to like BU i'm sure they got chicks
Katie (10:22:43 PM): and Jacoby's like i think im just gonna go and he starts walking away
Katie (10:22:50 PM): and then pedroias like no you're coming
Katie (10:22:59 PM): you're my excuse
Mary (10:23:05 PM): hahaha
Mary (10:23:06 PM): omg
Mary (10:23:08 PM): he's like
Mary (10:23:18 PM): the baby or the puppy that guys carry around
Mary (10:23:22 PM): to get chicks
Katie (10:23:32 PM): pretty much
Katie (10:23:44 PM): and hes like no seriously i dont feel good im just gonna go
Katie (10:23:47 PM): and runs away
Mary (10:23:50 PM): and no one can catch him
Mary (10:23:55 PM): except maybe coco
Mary (10:23:58 PM): but he's not there
Mary (10:24:06 PM): because he's basically got a family
Katie (10:24:20 PM): and hes not as messed up as them
Katie (10:25:36 PM): and then Jacoby's all scared
Mary (10:25:54 PM): walking through boston alone at night
Katie (10:26:34 PM): and he decides that this is prettymuch the worst day ever
Katie (10:31:28 PM): so he calls his mom
Mary (10:41:24 PM): so basically he is curled up in bed talking to his mom
Mary (10:41:31 PM): with a tub of ice cream
Mary (10:41:38 PM): and a spoon
Katie (10:42:34 PM): and he just keeps saying how all he wants is a good girlfriend
Mary (10:43:08 PM): and his mom is talking to him in navajo telling him it'll be ok
Katie (10:43:49 PM): and then his brother gets on the phone and tells him to sack up
Katie (10:44:05 PM): and hes like shut up
Katie (10:44:11 PM): im not a manwhore like you
Katie (10:46:46 PM): anyways so he calls his brother a manwhore and then starts talking to his mom again
Mary (10:47:20 PM): and shes like "dont worry, you'll find someone" and he goes "thanks mom i love you" and everyone in the world goes
Mary (10:47:23 PM): AWWWWWWWWWW <3
Katie (10:49:41 PM): and then hes like
Katie (10:49:44 PM): ya know what
Katie (10:49:48 PM): she was a skank anyways
Katie (10:49:52 PM): screw that ho
Mary (10:50:15 PM): and he goes
Mary (10:50:17 PM): MOM!!!
Mary (10:50:25 PM): and shes lke what, she was
Katie (10:50:42 PM): and hes like yea i guess so
Katie (10:50:45 PM): but still
Katie (10:50:51 PM): it doesnt make me feel better
Katie (10:50:56 PM): and shes like awe hunny
Mary (10:51:46 PM): and then pedroia bashes in to the house w/a stripper and Pap comes in behind him drunk off his ass
Katie (10:52:05 PM): and jacoby's like uhhh mom i gotta go
Katie (10:52:13 PM): love you bye
Mary (10:52:29 PM): and Pap barges into his room
Mary (10:52:35 PM): and flops down on the bed
Katie (10:53:13 PM): and Jacoby is like ok im leaving now
Katie (10:53:19 PM): and runs out of the house
Katie (10:53:23 PM): and is like
Katie (10:53:30 PM): i can't even stay in my own house
Katie (10:53:35 PM): so he gest all sad again
Katie (10:53:45 PM): cause he has nowhere to go and hsi friends are all trashed
Mary (10:53:58 PM): so he knocks on Tek's door
Katie (10:54:06 PM): and is like
Katie (10:54:10 PM): can i stay here tonight
Katie (10:54:23 PM): and hes like *all concerned* yea sure ok
Katie (10:54:26 PM): whats wrong?
Mary (10:54:45 PM): and they sit down on the couch, tek wraps him in a blanket and gives him coco
Mary (10:54:55 PM): and he starts telling tek what's wrong
Mary (10:55:01 PM): and he's all concerned
Mary (10:55:09 PM): and there's totally Lifetime on the TV
Mary (10:55:13 PM): but no one notices
Katie (10:55:38 PM): and then Tek is all reassuring him
Katie (10:55:44 PM): and hes like dont worry it's all gonna be fine
Katie (10:56:59 PM): and then Mrs. Tek comes in w/ cookies
Mary (10:58:07 PM): and she sits down and starts petting his head
Mary (10:58:14 PM): and telling him its going to be ok
Katie (10:58:38 PM): and shes like just let it all out hunny
Mary (10:58:42 PM): and he starts crying
Mary (10:58:54 PM): and tek and his wife guive him a giant group hug
Mary (10:59:13 PM): and then buckholz walks in, rubbing his eyes sleepily, and goes
Mary (10:59:21 PM): "you woke me up."
Mary (10:59:27 PM): "....why are you crying?"
Katie (10:59:38 PM): and Jacoby hiccups and is like sorry man
Mary (10:59:54 PM): and buckholz frowns and walks over and hugs jacoby
Mary (11:00:01 PM): then his cell phone rings
Katie (11:00:36 PM): and he's like who the christ is calling me
Katie (11:00:39 PM): and Tek is like
Katie (11:00:42 PM): watch your mouth
Mary (11:00:54 PM): Jacoby apologises and pulls out his pone
Katie (11:01:20 PM): and he's like i dont know this number
Katie (11:01:27 PM): i just dont wanna talk to anyonee
Katie (11:01:28 PM): and Tek's
Katie (11:01:35 PM): like just answer it
Mary (11:01:42 PM): so he does and it's Pap
Mary (11:01:44 PM): drunk off his ass
Mary (11:01:48 PM): and he goes
Mary (11:02:13 PM): "it's yerrr girlfirend. she's here and she's offering to bedazzle the shit out of my coat. WHERE ARE YOUUU?!"
Mary (11:02:20 PM): ::hiccup::
Katie (11:02:38 PM): and Jacoby just hangs up and starts crying again
Katie (11:03:08 PM): and Buchholz is like aw what happened
Mary (11:03:47 PM): and Jacoby explains it all to him, and Buchholz is like aww sorry dude. that's rough
Mary (11:03:57 PM): and tek's wife is like
Mary (11:04:18 PM): "i would stay up with you but i have to get up early" so she goes to bed and leads buchholz sleepily away
Mary (11:04:37 PM): and Tek pats Jacoby on the head and tells him to get some sleep on the couch
Katie (11:04:52 PM): and they're all like it'll get better i promise
Katie (11:05:06 PM): and then hes like all quiet "thanks"
Mary (11:05:14 PM): so Tek goes to bed
Mary (11:05:31 PM): and Jacoby puts down the cocoa, and snuggles into the couch
Mary (11:05:42 PM): he falls asleep soon after
Mary (11:05:54 PM): and awakes in the morning to some wallfes and bacon
Mary (11:05:57 PM): with a note
Mary (11:06:01 PM): from Pedoria
Mary (11:06:03 PM): saying
Mary (11:06:23 PM): "sorry i was drunk last night. come over after breakfast and we'll make cupcakes."
Mary (11:06:32 PM): PREQUEL TO THE CUPCAKE STORY!!!!
Lemme tell you somesing...
Papelbon on The Late Show.
GENIUS.
The entire transcript is here.
[EDIT] Oh, and wonderful Katie found the actual video of it on Youtube.
I love this man so much. Words cannot describe. Ok, maybe "a lot" can =D
And aparently Ortiz is a big Bedazzler <3
(END OF POST)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
The Epic Cupcake Story
Not only is this me testing out my logging-in capibilities, but I'm going to share a wonderful story with you.
This is the cupcake story, written betwixt Katie and myself on AIM tonight. Excuse the typos, but this thing was a mess. I'm surprised it looks this good
Jacoby is like but i cant put sprinkles on the cupcakes and pedroia is like WE DONT NEED SPRINKLES JESUS and Jacoby's like fine don't yellll at me
and beckett comes crashing in, with buchholz in tow, and he just walks over, takes a cupcake and buchholz is all "can i has cupcake?" and beckett goes NO! and he storms off
and tehn Buck just sits on the couch and pouts
and buchholz sneaks back in and reaches for a cupcake and beckett screames from teh other room I SAID NO bitch.
then Jacoby's like well can i have one and Pedroias like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO They're for MIKE JESUS!!!!!! and then Jacoby and Buchholz just sit and pout about how they dont understand its only one cupcake
and pap comes into the kitchen, looks at the tray, and takes the whole damned thing into the other room and just dumps them into his mouth dropping like 12 on the floor and Beckett and Pedroia are like GOD DAMMIT SONOFABITCH
WELL HAVE TO MAKE MORE NOW
and then Buchholz andJacoby sneek in and take one and chuck it at Beckett and Pedroia and pap looks up and screams FOOD FIGHT and comes barreling into the kitchen thorwing everything he sees the sugar bowl hits beckett in the shoulder and he goes bonkers
then Beckett throws it like 97 at Jacoby's face but he runs outta the way and it hits pap and he hits beckett with the broom then Pedroia turns on the radio
and it's shipping up to bostonso pap just stops and starts dancing
and Becketts like this song blows dick and Buchholz is like who says that? and becketts like I do BITCH
and pap goes to walk into the loving room, but when he turns around he walks into mike lowell, carrying a cake that the bullpen made for him, and the cake goes into Lowell's face all into his eyebrows
and he just makes that like half amused face and shakes his head adn starts another food fight
and jacoby just slinks away intothe other room like a frightened deer
and hides under his new fluffy comforter that his mom told him to buy
and papi walks into the room and goes my... this bed looks comfy ::flop:: and ellsbury goes eeeeeee and papi is all "wtf?"
and he gets up and hes like aw sorry man
and ellsbury is like :;squeak::
back in the kitchen, tek walks in
and then manny come flying down the hallwith his arms spread otu going woooooooooooooooooooosh AIRPLANGGGGGGGGGG Wooooooooooooooooooooosh
and tek's juts STOP and Paps is like *whisper* Hammah time and Tek just glares at him
then Pap gets up on the counter and starts saying O captain my captain!
and Ellsbury stands on the table and Pedroia has to stand on top of the fridge cause hes so little
and he goes "so that's where they hid my booze"and beckett goes YOU CANT DRINK YOUR ONLY 12
and Pedroia's like what bithc what and he starts trying to bite Becketts ankles
so, pap looks down and sees pedroia biting becketts ankles adn he picks up the broom and starts whackling him on the head
and growling
and all the while tek is trying to calm everyone down but he turns to see mike lowell with the frosting and cake all over him and he reackes over and scoops some frostin from his eyeborws
and Jacoby''s like ewwwwwwwwww then he calls his mom and is like mommy im scareded
and to ask how to get frosting out of clothing
and then Pedroia's wife comes in and is like WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE!!!!!
and they all stop
and Pedroia's like FUCK
and she just looks at him and shakes her head and starts to walk away: but dustin stops her and says "ummm... can the guys sleep over tonight?"
and shes like you're a fucking mess and just leaves and Pedroias like BUT IT WAS JACOBY'S FAULT
and jacoby says "THANKS DUSTIN!"
they all change into their matching footie pajamas and dustin puts in field of dreams
and they all sit cross-legged on the floor
and becketts like we need some ladies and everyone just looks at him and Dustins like come ON its a guys night plus my wife'll KILL me
and beckett mumbles obscenities under his breath and pap reaches under his blanket and pulls out a flask and ghoes "let's really turn this into a party" and tek looks at him and goes "dude... we're not 18 an ymore that shit's LEGAL" and they all turn to look at jacoby
and he just smiles and is like i got a fake id doe and theyu're all like wtf and hes like helloooooooooooo havent you ever heard the song tipsy duh and they're just like "teenagers these days"
and jacoby yells "I'M 24!" and dustin gies "no, you're not" and papi looks at him and goes "you should be talking?"
and Buchholz is cracking up and everyones like you're like 10!
and he just stops and looks at all of them
and then Jacoby and Pedroia and Buccholz all sit together and whisper about how they're really not 12 and they really didi go to high school already
and pap, beckett and tek sit together and compare biceps
and Ortiz just watches them all like a father and then when Jacoby Clay and Pedroia fall asleep he covers them with a blanket and Paps is like haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa they're sleepin and then he passes out
and pap, beckett, and tek are the only ones awake and theyre like "let's see what's on HBO..." then pedroia's wife walks in and she's all DONT YOU DARE PUT PORN ON MY TV!! and pap gets freaked out
and Becketts like aw shit bitchand shes like WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY! and Pedroia wakes up and is like oh fuck
and she goes YOU! COME TO BED NOW and he goes but i'm with the guysssss all whiney
and shes looks at them and goes get out! NOW!! and they all leavebut she lets Jacoby stay cause hes a nice Boy
and as clay is leaving they notice that the flap in the back of his foottie PJ's is open and jacoby and dustin point and laigh
and that he has a tattoo
after they leave dutin goes "can we pull out the sofa and sleep in the living room? i promise we'll fall askleep early!"
abd Jacoby's like yea I promise and she's like well ok if you say so and Pedroias like why if HE says so
and she says "he's a good boy" so they slink off to the lving room and pull out the futon and they get into it. just as dustin starts to fall asleep jacoby gets a case of the giggles and they both crack up
like a 6th grade girl
and dustin's wife yells from the bedroom "I CAN HEAR YOU! GO TO BED!"
and they stick their heads under the covers to try and muffle their laughs
and she goes 'I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!"
and then Jacoby's phone rings and all Pedroia hears is "how the hell am I supposed to know what the theme of "a Rose for Emily is"
and he mouths who's that? and jacoby, in a fit of giggles, yells YOUR MOTHER and dustin's wife goes GO TO BED!!!
and Jacoby's like but my broski needs help and shess like GIVE ME THE GODDAMN PHONE and he pauses and shes like NOW!!!! and he just hands her the phone and she goes thank you. and she walks away
and jacoby sticks his tongue out at her and she goes I SAW THAT!
and Pedroias like "she sees everything" I swear to god
and jacoby mumbles "bummer...." and they turn over to go back to bed
and just before dustin falls asleep, jacoby whisperes "dustin?"
he goes "yeah?"
"......i love you man."
and his wife is just standing in the dorrway and she just walks away and goes AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
and Dustins like I love ya too rook
and they smile and drift off to sleep.
END.
FIRST POST!
Hello all, and welcome to the birth and first steps of Mary and Katie's new Red Sox blog.
Yeah, we're a bit crazy.
Yeah, we love Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury (respectively).
And yes, we are made of awesome.
Intensely made of awesome.
