Top 12 Reasons to Keep Jacoby in Boston.

Not only are Katie and I making amazing Red Sox lists today, but we are also listening to "Shipping Up to Boston", "Tessie" and "Sweet Caroline" on repeat.

This is why I hate the offseason, among other things.

I swear to god, that comment will spawn a list at some point....

But for now, follow the link to our Top 12 Reasons why Jacoby Needs to Stay With Boston...


1. Dustin would be too broken up about losing his best buddy that he wouldnt be able to play.

2. Minnesota is NOT for lovers.

3. He's become quite fond of the beach.*

4. New England has closer weather to Jacoby's home land than Minnesota, so we remind him of home.

5. Minnesota is no fun.**

6. Jacoby looks better in red.***

7. We have Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Harvard, and The Partiots.

8. We have more Taco Bells than Minnesota

9. We have some pretty damn cool Native American things that he can relate to. Minnesota does not. (IE: the mohawk trail)

10. Boston is SOO much easier to type than Minnesota****

11. We have better theme songs.

12. This would not be nearly as amusing without Jacoby.


*I only assume that he has become fond of the beach. Who wouldn't? They're pretty, and I bet he loves walking around in a bathing suit, showing off. You can't do that in Minnesota.
**Again, I only assume
*** When I was writing this, I asked Katie what Minnesota's colors were. Her reply:
Katie(2:24:16 PM): like dark blue and a lil bit of red
Katie(2:24:21 PM): and like gray and white
Katie(2:24:24 PM): they're a fucking mess
So basically reason number 6 and a half: At least we know what colors we are.
**** You have NO IDEA how many times I had to type "Minnesota" to get it right. We poor sox fans would get hand cramps trying to write it!