The Epic Cupcake Story

Not only is this me testing out my logging-in capibilities, but I'm going to share a wonderful story with you.

This is the cupcake story, written betwixt Katie and myself on AIM tonight. Excuse the typos, but this thing was a mess. I'm surprised it looks this good



Jacoby is like but i cant put sprinkles on the cupcakes and pedroia is like WE DONT NEED SPRINKLES JESUS and Jacoby's like fine don't yellll at me
and beckett comes crashing in, with buchholz in tow, and he just walks over, takes a cupcake and buchholz is all "can i has cupcake?" and beckett goes NO! and he storms off
and tehn Buck just sits on the couch and pouts
and buchholz sneaks back in and reaches for a cupcake and beckett screames from teh other room I SAID NO bitch.
then Jacoby's like well can i have one and Pedroias like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO They're for MIKE JESUS!!!!!! and then Jacoby and Buchholz just sit and pout about how they dont understand its only one cupcake
and pap comes into the kitchen, looks at the tray, and takes the whole damned thing into the other room and just dumps them into his mouth dropping like 12 on the floor and Beckett and Pedroia are like GOD DAMMIT SONOFABITCH
WELL HAVE TO MAKE MORE NOW
and then Buchholz andJacoby sneek in and take one and chuck it at Beckett and Pedroia and pap looks up and screams FOOD FIGHT and comes barreling into the kitchen thorwing everything he sees the sugar bowl hits beckett in the shoulder and he goes bonkers
then Beckett throws it like 97 at Jacoby's face but he runs outta the way and it hits pap and he hits beckett with the broom then Pedroia turns on the radio
and it's shipping up to bostonso pap just stops and starts dancing
and Becketts like this song blows dick and Buchholz is like who says that? and becketts like I do BITCH
and pap goes to walk into the loving room, but when he turns around he walks into mike lowell, carrying a cake that the bullpen made for him, and the cake goes into Lowell's face all into his eyebrows
and he just makes that like half amused face and shakes his head adn starts another food fight
and jacoby just slinks away intothe other room like a frightened deer
and hides under his new fluffy comforter that his mom told him to buy
and papi walks into the room and goes my... this bed looks comfy ::flop:: and ellsbury goes eeeeeee and papi is all "wtf?"
and he gets up and hes like aw sorry man
and ellsbury is like :;squeak::
back in the kitchen, tek walks in
and then manny come flying down the hallwith his arms spread otu going woooooooooooooooooooosh AIRPLANGGGGGGGGGG Wooooooooooooooooooooosh
and tek's juts STOP and Paps is like *whisper* Hammah time and Tek just glares at him
then Pap gets up on the counter and starts saying O captain my captain!
and Ellsbury stands on the table and Pedroia has to stand on top of the fridge cause hes so little
and he goes "so that's where they hid my booze"and beckett goes YOU CANT DRINK YOUR ONLY 12
and Pedroia's like what bithc what and he starts trying to bite Becketts ankles
so, pap looks down and sees pedroia biting becketts ankles adn he picks up the broom and starts whackling him on the head
and growling
and all the while tek is trying to calm everyone down but he turns to see mike lowell with the frosting and cake all over him and he reackes over and scoops some frostin from his eyeborws
and Jacoby''s like ewwwwwwwwww then he calls his mom and is like mommy im scareded
and to ask how to get frosting out of clothing
and then Pedroia's wife comes in and is like WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE!!!!!
and they all stop
and Pedroia's like FUCK
and she just looks at him and shakes her head and starts to walk away: but dustin stops her and says "ummm... can the guys sleep over tonight?"
and shes like you're a fucking mess and just leaves and Pedroias like BUT IT WAS JACOBY'S FAULT
and jacoby says "THANKS DUSTIN!"
they all change into their matching footie pajamas and dustin puts in field of dreams
and they all sit cross-legged on the floor
and becketts like we need some ladies and everyone just looks at him and Dustins like come ON its a guys night plus my wife'll KILL me
and beckett mumbles obscenities under his breath and pap reaches under his blanket and pulls out a flask and ghoes "let's really turn this into a party" and tek looks at him and goes "dude... we're not 18 an ymore that shit's LEGAL" and they all turn to look at jacoby
and he just smiles and is like i got a fake id doe and theyu're all like wtf and hes like helloooooooooooo havent you ever heard the song tipsy duh and they're just like "teenagers these days"
and jacoby yells "I'M 24!" and dustin gies "no, you're not" and papi looks at him and goes "you should be talking?"
and Buchholz is cracking up and everyones like you're like 10!
and he just stops and looks at all of them
and then Jacoby and Pedroia and Buccholz all sit together and whisper about how they're really not 12 and they really didi go to high school already
and pap, beckett and tek sit together and compare biceps
and Ortiz just watches them all like a father and then when Jacoby Clay and Pedroia fall asleep he covers them with a blanket and Paps is like haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa they're sleepin and then he passes out
and pap, beckett, and tek are the only ones awake and theyre like "let's see what's on HBO..." then pedroia's wife walks in and she's all DONT YOU DARE PUT PORN ON MY TV!! and pap gets freaked out
and Becketts like aw shit bitchand shes like WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY! and Pedroia wakes up and is like oh fuck
and she goes YOU! COME TO BED NOW and he goes but i'm with the guysssss all whiney
and shes looks at them and goes get out! NOW!! and they all leavebut she lets Jacoby stay cause hes a nice Boy
and as clay is leaving they notice that the flap in the back of his foottie PJ's is open and jacoby and dustin point and laigh
and that he has a tattoo
after they leave dutin goes "can we pull out the sofa and sleep in the living room? i promise we'll fall askleep early!"
abd Jacoby's like yea I promise and she's like well ok if you say so and Pedroias like why if HE says so
and she says "he's a good boy" so they slink off to the lving room and pull out the futon and they get into it. just as dustin starts to fall asleep jacoby gets a case of the giggles and they both crack up
like a 6th grade girl
and dustin's wife yells from the bedroom "I CAN HEAR YOU! GO TO BED!"
and they stick their heads under the covers to try and muffle their laughs
and she goes 'I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!"
and then Jacoby's phone rings and all Pedroia hears is "how the hell am I supposed to know what the theme of "a Rose for Emily is"
and he mouths who's that? and jacoby, in a fit of giggles, yells YOUR MOTHER and dustin's wife goes GO TO BED!!!
and Jacoby's like but my broski needs help and shess like GIVE ME THE GODDAMN PHONE and he pauses and shes like NOW!!!! and he just hands her the phone and she goes thank you. and she walks away
and jacoby sticks his tongue out at her and she goes I SAW THAT!
and Pedroias like "she sees everything" I swear to god
and jacoby mumbles "bummer...." and they turn over to go back to bed

and just before dustin falls asleep, jacoby whisperes "dustin?"
he goes "yeah?"
"......i love you man."
and his wife is just standing in the dorrway and she just walks away and goes AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
and Dustins like I love ya too rook
and they smile and drift off to sleep.

END.

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FIRST POST!

Hello all, and welcome to the birth and first steps of Mary and Katie's new Red Sox blog.

Yeah, we're a bit crazy.

Yeah, we love Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury (respectively).

And yes, we are made of awesome.

Intensely made of awesome.

Click Here to Read More..