Ok a few posts back Mary did a top 12 list of reasons Jacoby needs to stay in Boston. She noted that Massachusetts has the ever amazing Mohawk Trail while Minnesota does not. In my commen t to that post I mentioned "a legit 100 foot Native American" well being the loser that I am over break I've been kind of bored and decided to find photographic evidence of this statue.


ok so you can't see the whole thing but seriously I'm short but I'm not that short my friend and I were only up to his knees!

The Mohawk Trail has some other cool stuff too.
Like my bff the bear


Giant teepees/wigwams


Super-pretty crater things where i wanna have a picnic


Pretty Rocks lol


plus a bunch of super cool other stuff that I don't have pictrues of. So yea basically Massachusetts is waaaaaaaay cooler than Minnesota and Jacoby has to stay.

oo and the other girl in the pictures is my other friend Mary not the one that writes here but she is equally awesome.

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This is why I love my family.

So, I was in Connecticut all day. My Great-Uncle Harold had recently died and my parents and I went down to CT for the family-gathering (the funeral is tomorrow, but we can't make it).
ANYWAY... I was sitting on my second-cousin Steve's couch, talking to his brother (my second-cousin Ron), and we started talking about the Red Sox. Ron was telling me that his daughter, when she was little, was really into the Red Sox, and she went to a game with him and his wife. She was absolutely in Red Sox heaven... until the end of the first inning. She was saying "Ok, can we go home now?" and Ron went "Umm... that's only the end of the first inning. There's eight more left."
Aparently, she grew out of the baseball thing pretty soon after. I mean, she was really little. But up to that time, Ron was so happy that he had a daughter who was so into the Red Sox.
Then, this year, he said she got into them again.
The reason?
"I think that we owe it all to Jacoby. Really, that appeared to be one of the major factors in her watching the game. Now she loves them again."
I don't know which makes me happy more: Jacoby turning one of my female relatives into a Sox fan... or my female relative getting back into the Sox because of Jacoby.
Hell, I blame Dustin for my Sox-dom. Oh, and Katie.
Also...


My Great-Aunt was telling me that any time that we feel like coming down to Florida for a visit, that we could stay with her.
Now, by the way, she lives about ten minutes from where the Red Sox have their Spring Training.
I mentioned somewhere around the 14th of February, and she said "Yeah... that seems fine to me..."
This, my friends, could be an amazing spring.

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Jetman!

For those of you who don't know what Jetman is... it's a highly addicting game on facebook. The Wikipedia article on it is here.

ANYWAY, as Katie was mindlessly playing it last night, and probably beating my high score, she got to thinking...


Katie: cant you just picture pedroia sitting for like hours playing jetman and he keeps like challenging jacoby and clay and beckett
Mary:AWWWWWWWWWW
Katie: but beckett sucks so he always write like in the challenges and hes like THIS GAME FUCKING BLOWS DICK
Mary: LMFAO
Katie: and like JETMAN IS A BITCH
-Johnny Cash distraction-
Katie: and you know becketts sitting listening to johnny cash while hes playing
Mary: HAHAHAHAHA
Katie: and he keeps losing cause he starts air guitaring
Mary: HAHAHA and thinking he sees a deer over the monitor. i bet pap plays too with jet brew
Katie: hes like i wish they had jethunter
Mary: LMFAO
Katie: and clays like they should have jetfrog
Mary: awwwwwwwwww
Katie: but since they dont have jethunter beckett uses jetcow and pedroia is like they should have jetchipmunk but he uses jetbanana instead and jacoby just uses the regular one cause hes a loserrr.

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Top 12 Reasons to Keep Jacoby in Boston.

Not only are Katie and I making amazing Red Sox lists today, but we are also listening to "Shipping Up to Boston", "Tessie" and "Sweet Caroline" on repeat.

This is why I hate the offseason, among other things.

I swear to god, that comment will spawn a list at some point....

But for now, follow the link to our Top 12 Reasons why Jacoby Needs to Stay With Boston...


1. Dustin would be too broken up about losing his best buddy that he wouldnt be able to play.

2. Minnesota is NOT for lovers.

3. He's become quite fond of the beach.*

4. New England has closer weather to Jacoby's home land than Minnesota, so we remind him of home.

5. Minnesota is no fun.**

6. Jacoby looks better in red.***

7. We have Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Harvard, and The Partiots.

8. We have more Taco Bells than Minnesota

9. We have some pretty damn cool Native American things that he can relate to. Minnesota does not. (IE: the mohawk trail)

10. Boston is SOO much easier to type than Minnesota****

11. We have better theme songs.

12. This would not be nearly as amusing without Jacoby.


*I only assume that he has become fond of the beach. Who wouldn't? They're pretty, and I bet he loves walking around in a bathing suit, showing off. You can't do that in Minnesota.
**Again, I only assume
*** When I was writing this, I asked Katie what Minnesota's colors were. Her reply:
Katie(2:24:16 PM): like dark blue and a lil bit of red
Katie(2:24:21 PM): and like gray and white
Katie(2:24:24 PM): they're a fucking mess
So basically reason number 6 and a half: At least we know what colors we are.
**** You have NO IDEA how many times I had to type "Minnesota" to get it right. We poor sox fans would get hand cramps trying to write it!

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10 Things to do on a Snow Day

AKA 10 Things to do while Putting off my english homework for one more day.




10.Think of 10 reasons the Twins would be better off not trading Johan Santana for Jacoby Ellsbury or Clay Buchholz.

9.Wake up at 7 and wonder why on a regular school day you don't want to wake up but today you just can't sleep.

8.Read a book about Southie.

7.Check Boston.com every 10 minutes to make sure you didn't miss anything.

6.Watch Faith Rewarded...twice.

5.Listen to Christmas music and try to figure out what the hell you're going to buy your best friend for Christmas.

4.Not put your clothes away like your mother asked you.

3."Forget" about your homework...again.

2.Wonder why it's 20 degrees outside and 90 degrees in your room.

1.Write a list.
photo c/o Kelly O'Connor at sittingstill.net

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Can I has prospects? K thx

Can't this Hot Stove stuff just be over?!?! I am completely attached to our prospects, mostly Ellsbury but I love the others too. I mean I went to Futures at Fenway this year and took like 20 pictures of Justin Masterson on my friends camera. And like Mary already said I don't want Lester traded I'd miss him too much. =(

This just saddens me. Ellsbury is young, wicked awesome, and SUPER fast. Plus he says the word "neat". Also, of course in the minds of Mary and I Jacoby and Pedroia are BEST BUDDIES! they're like the dynamic duo and with Buchholz with them they're just adorable. YOU CAN'T BREAK THAT UP!
In conclusion
Dear Red Sox,
Please don't do that to me.
Love always,
Katie<3
photo c/o Boston.com

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Can i has lolz? plz?

k thx.


(follow teh linkage...)

Bask in teh glory that iz tonz of lols i has made.
Katie has made sum 2, but i 4get which ones is hers.
(Ok, it pains me to type like that, it truly does =P)
[All photos were from various places, including Katie's computer]

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Finders Keepers!!!

from CNN


From boston.redsox.mlb.com


From redsoxhens.mlbblogs.com


Can we has Jon Lester forever? K thx.

But for rizzles. According to extra bases , Lester appears to be a keen candidate for trade for Minnesota Twins' Johan Santana.

Don't do it. We wuv him too much. Although, EB also says that he's more likely to be chosen over Buchholz.


from thenosebleeds.com


from Boston.com

I swear to Got in Himmel, if I wake up one morning to find my l'il Clay NOT in a Red Sox jersey.... THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.

Want to know what else will happen if our wonder twins get offed? Follow us down the rabbit hole for further enlightenment.....


John Wayne and Johnny Cash will come back from the dead and haunt whoever makes the final decisions with sad songs and tales of the wild west, occasionally throwing in misadventures of Beckett for a modern-cowboy feel.

We will cry.

Katie will eat your soul.

I will personally come to your house with a baseball bat and make threatenning gestures.

Did I mention John Wayne and Johnny Cash will come back from the dead?

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How I Became a Red Sox Fan

Sooooooooooo I was talking to Mary earlier and I was showing her this IM convo i had last June about how I became a Red Sox fanand she told me i should post it so here I am posting lol it's written the way that I typed it in my IM so bear with me

Katie: wanna hear a sad story
friend: sure
once there was this lil girl
she didn't really know anything about baseball
but when she turned 8 her parents decided it would be good for her to play softball
so she got A LITTLE bit more interested in baseball
then she discovered Nomar and Pedro
and after that she discovered the Yankees
and Roger Clemens (version NY) and Derek Jeter
and well R&D always seemed to beat N&P
so she said well I like the Yankees cause they always win
but Nomar's my favorite cause he's cool
so this girl got a little older and when she was about 12 she kinda started paying attention more and like hey this is a kinda cool sport
then when she was 13 in 2003 she saw the ALCS and discovered Ruben Sierra (Yankee) now this girl had a friend named Siearra so she decided that if they were related it would be Siearra Sierra
and then the Yankees won
but it wasn't like nice for the little girl
she didn't feel good about that team
but whatever it's over now they lost to the Marlins in the 03 WS anyways sooooo she did all the normal winter stuff
sledding and whatnot
then in like April of 2004 this girl was at her aunts house chillen with her cousin and the red sox game was on
then this guy named Pokey Reese got up to bat
the girl and her cousin started cracking up
but then it all came back to the little girl, all the random players she'd heard of but ignored and this new guy with the wicked cool name
plus the memory of Cowboy Up! what that meant she never really knew but the girl just GOT it now
and so this girl said...
fuck the Yankees I like the red sox
and POKEYY
so she got a red sox hat and the girl was never ever ever the same
she did cartwheels n her driveway when they beat the Yankees in 04 and then screamed and jumped like a psycho when they won the world series
and she was hooked
forever
then 05 came and thing weren't that great but favorites left(Pokey, Dave Roberts, Orlando Cabrera, a bunch of other peeps) and new favorite emerged out of nowhere one in particular who was introduced by these people in the girls speech class this player?
Gabriel Stefan Kapler
he had left the sox but ended up coming back
of course there was also Billy Mueller the quite guy who everyone just loved
and Kevin Millar the loud mouth cowboy who was always acting like an idiot
oh speaking of idiots did I forget that guy that looked like Jesus but we won't talk about that
yea those were the days
anyways then in June Manny Ramirez decided he wanted to get traded AGAIN but he's crazy so everyone just pretended to try and trade him
not to mention the HUGE Dominican guy who make pitchers cry (David Ortiz) decided to get even better than he was
and then in the end of July along with the return of dear Gabriel came a new face (new to me at least)
a young guy who got drafted out of college in 03
he did great no one really noticed though cause Curt, Curt, my ankle hurts was making his return as well
aaaanyways 05 didn’t end up working well
and the 05-06 winter was very long
and kinda sadd
dear Theo Epstein quit and we lost the Jesus dude (Johnny Damon) to the enemy and everyone got a lil pissed
but it's ok cause they found a replacement The Chocolaty one
Coco Crisp(ies) and with a whole new infield 2006 came
06 started out as an angry year for the now 15 year old girl
with thoughts of betrayal by Mr. Damon
but the new guys made it better
so with a bunch of crazy fist pumps the guys started spring training
Josh Beckett a new pitcher came in looking like he was always ready to kick ass a long with his new bff Curt "my ankle doesn’t hurt anymore" Schilling
and the new guy from last July?
he's closing now
has an earned run average less than one and has 20 saves already
his name? Jonathan Papelbon
but this year is not all fun and games
there have been thoughts of ripping off faces and beating the crap out of people but we shall be ok
because the return of a great man is upon us
Gabe Kapler WILL BE BACK
muwahahahahaaha(ha)
the girl you've heard so much about?
her name is
Katie
hahaha

Well I guess everyone has to start somewhere right?
and if you thought I was sane at all you've probably seen the light
So say what you will but I love this team a lot and that's that.

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You'll bat your eye out!

Ah yes, here's another episode of amazement in the minds of Kaite any myself.

Last night, A Christmas Story was on TBS. Yes, that's right. THE Christmas Story that gets put on perpetual repeat on Christmas. THE Christmas story that everyone watches so much at Christmas that no one can even mention it for another year without treading on the possibility of Christmas-induced spazms.

ANYWAY, we were watching this, and I suddenly came to the realization that little Ralphie happened to look like little Dustin:





Well, once we came to this realization, we started thinking, what if the other characters were played by the Sox? Here's the "official" list:

Mrs. Parker - Varitek
Mr. Parker - Timlin
Ralphie - Pedroia
Randy - Buchholz
Flick - Ellsbury
Schwartz - Papelbon
Miss Shields - Youlkilis
Farkus - Schilling
Dill - Beckett
Santa - A Rod
The Elves - Jeter and Damon

The movie is SO MUCH funnier if you watch it with these substitutions in mind. I swear, this Christmas I'm going to be cracking up more than usual at this movie.

To give y'all a general idea as to what was going through our heads, I have included some key scenes with the proper name-changes. I guarantee, you'll never watch this movie the same way again =D


Pedroia: Oooh fuuudge!
Pedroia as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
Timlin: [stunned] *What* did you say?
Pedroia: Uh, um...
Timlin: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!

[Timlin reads a side of the box with the prize that he won]
Timlin: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Varitek: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear.
Timlin: Oh, yeah.

[overdressed for winter]
Buchholz: I can't put my arms down!
Tek: Well... put your arms down when you get to school.

Ellsbury: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!
Papelbon: That's 'cause you know it'll stick!
Ellsbury: You're full of it!
Papelbon: Oh yeah?
Ellsbury: Yeah!
Papelbon: Well I double-DOG-dare ya!
Pedroia as Adult: [narrating] NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare ya"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.
Papelbon: I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!
Pedroia as Adult: [narrating] Pap created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!

Papelbon: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.
Ellsbury: Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything like that?
Papelbon: He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy's tongue off the track, because he couldn't get it off. (Buchholz is trying to catch up).
Buchholz: C'mon, guys! Wait up! C'mon, guys! Wait up!

Varitek: Buchholz? What's wrong? Whatcha cryin' for?
Buchholz: Timlin's gonna kill Dustin!
Varitek: No he's not...
Buchholz: Yes he is!
Varitek: No, I promise, Timlin is not going to kill Dustin!

Pedroia: Tek, this is just the same dumb old parade as last year.
Varitek: Dustin, will you please calm down?
Pedroia: Tek!
Varitek: Hush!
Timlin: SHUT UP, Dustin!

Yeah, there's so much more, but the internet is stupid and doesn't seem to deem this movie worthy enough of a free e-script. Oh well. So, feel free to use this as a reference the next time you watch this movie! I know I will. *wink*

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