This made my day.

Since I fail at HTML, I shall have to provide you all with a link to the site in which this video resides.
http://soxanddawgs.com/?p=3985#more-3985

So watch the video as I list the 4 best things about it:
1. Jed's reaction to being struck out (Does he EVER stop smiling??)
2. Papi's Jed impersination.
3. What Beckett does in his spare time, aparently.
4. The sunflower seed flicking
5. THAT CAMERA.

That camera is on them the whole game.
We the people deserve to be let loose on this footage.

[END OF POST]

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Simple Pleasures

There are certain things in the Red Sox that Katie and I just find, well, amazing.
I like to refer to these things as our "Simple Pleasures."
Behind the cut, you shall find this list, with a few pictures to illustrate my point.


1. Pap's Commercials
Dunkin Donuts, Modell's, 125 Auto... Pap seems to be the one to pick when it comes to having a Red Sox endorse your product. I have decided that the winner in this contest of the best Pap Performance has to go to his new Dunkin' ad.However, I can't find it on YouTube, so here's his absolutely STELLAR performance in his 125 Auto ad:



2. Tek's thighs.
Now, I know that this made be an odd thing for someone to find awesome. Those people have obviously never seen Tek's thighs (See also Number7):



3. Dice-K's pitching wiggle
Honestly, watch Dice-K's pitch very closely next time. His lower half does this little wiggle before he pitches. It's not HIGHLY noticeable, but if you're looking you'll see it.

4. Dustin's most recent stubble.
He is clearly trying to look older. Awww, that's precious. He wants to be like one of the big boys.
(I couldn't find a picture of this, but if he doesn't shave for tomorrow's game, I'm sure I can get one =D )

5. Jacoby's one-sleeve
Last season Jacoby's one-sleeve was a major mystery. Did he have a strange birthmark? Embarrassing tattoo? Was he shooting up heroin in between games? Apparently not. It's just an arm-warmer. Something about the fact that he just doesn't want to wear an extra shirt is quite, umm, interesting ;-).



6. Lowell's eyebrows
Ok, this is a common source of affection. Everyone loves Lowell's eyebrows because they are clearly magical.


7. Jon Lester's Sweet Ass
We are not fangirls. Really. We don't simply like players because they're good looking/popular/super famous. We like everyone. But honestly, honestly you can not ignore Jon Lester's mighty fine ass. That is all. (ED. NOTE: This is mostly Katie. I can't help but agree, but this one is mostly Katie =D )



8. Johnny Pesky
Whenever I see him I smile. He's amazing. He is essentially my favorite person in the world. When he smiles, I smile. He cries? I cry. It is that simple. And when David Ortiz envelopes him and that ridiculous bear hug, Manny Ramirez kisses his cheek, or resident King of Niceness Tim Wakefield walks him across the field like his own grandfather it just makes my heart smile. I firmly believe that Johnny Pesky brings out the awesome in the world. (ED NOTE: This one is all Katie again. Not that I don't heart Pesky, but this is all Katie =P )



9. The speech patterns of the Sox.
Jacoby says ummm, ya know, and generally stumbles. Dustin says umm sometimes more than Jacoby. And Beckett often parallels the mouth of a sailor. Either way, the post game, locker interviews are some of the most golden pieces of Red Sox footage.
Key phrases:
"I don't make those fucking decisions."
"...Execute fucking pitches."
"and, ummm...."
"we just have to, you know, ..."

10. Clay and his frog-resemblance.
But it's a cute froggie. The kind you find in your back yard and want to keep in a jar with little holes in the lid. He also looks like he should be a high school freshman. You know, back when he was stealing laptops. Or at least being the look-out for other people stealing laptops.

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Jetman!

For those of you who don't know what Jetman is... it's a highly addicting game on facebook. The Wikipedia article on it is here.

ANYWAY, as Katie was mindlessly playing it last night, and probably beating my high score, she got to thinking...


Katie: cant you just picture pedroia sitting for like hours playing jetman and he keeps like challenging jacoby and clay and beckett
Mary:AWWWWWWWWWW
Katie: but beckett sucks so he always write like in the challenges and hes like THIS GAME FUCKING BLOWS DICK
Mary: LMFAO
Katie: and like JETMAN IS A BITCH
-Johnny Cash distraction-
Katie: and you know becketts sitting listening to johnny cash while hes playing
Mary: HAHAHAHAHA
Katie: and he keeps losing cause he starts air guitaring
Mary: HAHAHA and thinking he sees a deer over the monitor. i bet pap plays too with jet brew
Katie: hes like i wish they had jethunter
Mary: LMFAO
Katie: and clays like they should have jetfrog
Mary: awwwwwwwwww
Katie: but since they dont have jethunter beckett uses jetcow and pedroia is like they should have jetchipmunk but he uses jetbanana instead and jacoby just uses the regular one cause hes a loserrr.

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If you can dodge a wrench....

Ahh, Thanksgiving. After stufing my face with turkey, stuffing, and other delicious things, I love to sit down with a good movie on TV. This year, it just happens to be Dodgeball.

Katie and I have decided that Patches O'Houlihan, you know, the crazy guy in the wheelchair, is going to be Beckett this winter with Buchholz and Lester.

"If you can pitch a wrench, you can pitch a ball."

Katie: "is it necessary to eat nails?"
Mary: "No. But I do it anyway because it's badass and I like the taste."

Katie: You know that Beckett has a pitcher poster that says "i suck" on it. and it's like Kenny Lofton. He has an A Rod one too.

And Buchholz is totally that poor kid that keeps getting KILLED by the ball.

I feel so bad for these guys, but I WANT to see this get turned into a reality TV show. Now.

ARE YOU LISTENING ESPN? THIS IS TELEVISION GOLD.

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QVC?!

I somehow managed to miss Papelbon on QVC the other night.
And Manny just finished his bit on Jay Leno.
Now I'm waiting for Papi on Conan.
This brings me, though, to a very important issue: the Sox on talk shows.

It's great to see them getting publicity. However, there's so many things that can go wrong with this.


1. Beckett. I don't think I need to say much more. If he went on a live show, he would need at least a 7 second delay. And he would probably offend someone. Multiple times. And he wouldnt care.

2. Pedroia on Conan. I want to see this. the 5'6 ish 2nd baseman being interviewed by the 6'4 talk show host. Someone book this. Now. PLEASE.

3. Papelbon doing anything. Look at what has already happened. He talked incessantly about partying, swore, and revealed Papi's secret life as a Bedazzler. And he sat with his legs about 90 °rees; apart from each other. This man needs serious help.

4. Jacoby. This kid obviously never took speech class. There's so many "ummms" and "uhhs" in there that I can't help but love him even more. He could go on any show and just be soooo uncomfortable. Poor Jacoby. He needs a hug.

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